Fairer World Cup: Quarter Finals & Semi Finals

We’re now at the business end of the Fairer World Cup, with just eight teams remaining in the hunt to lift the trophy in Atlanta on 19 July.

Last time out, it was the Last 16. We said a fond farewell to plucky underdogs Thailand… and a rather less fonder farewell to England, who were never any better than mediocre at this tournament. At least some things never change.

But what about the eight teams who have survived? In today’s chapter, we will whittle them down to just two, with the Quarter Finals to be followed immediately by the Semi Finals. Can Argentina move a step closer towards retaining their title, or will a new champion be crowned? Continue reading “Fairer World Cup: Quarter Finals & Semi Finals”

Fairer World Cup: Last 16

Things are now really beginning to heat up at the Fairer World Cup, where we are down to the Last 16.

Last time out, Round 2 concluded with some thrilling comebacks, a couple of costly red cards, and the ominous resurgence of a certain Nordic robot. Oh yeah, and England did their usual England thing of coasting through in second gear.

Our remaining teams have played four matches so far in North America, and the eventual champions will have to win another four. Now it’s time to see who are the real contenders for the title… Continue reading “Fairer World Cup: Last 16”

Fairer World Cup: Round 2, Part 2

The knockout rounds of the Fairer World Cup have begun, and we’re getting closer to finding out who would be crowned world champions if more countries could select their best players.

Round 2 kicked off in the previous chapter, with plenty of late drama and penalty shoot-outs galore. In completely unrelated news, American sports fans have now stopped caring about soccer again.

If you’re still captivated by all the action, I’ve got eight more thrilling matches in store… well, seven thrilling matches, and Costa Rica vs England. We’ll also see the red mist descend for the first time in this tournament! Continue reading “Fairer World Cup: Round 2, Part 2”

Fairer World Cup: Round 2, Part 1

We have reached the knockout stages of the Fairer World Cup – the tournament where players represented the weakest national teams they are eligible for.

Now that the Group Stage has concluded, several world-class superstars – like Paulo Dybala, N’Golo Kanté, Virgil van Dijk and Ben Brereton Díaz – have already left the tournament and returned to their clubs. Of course, others like Kylian Mbappé never even made it to North America, so they’ll at least be grateful that they got the chance.

So now we’re down to the last 32. No more worrying about 3rd-place permutations or using quantum computers to figure out who your next opponent will be. The path to the Final has now been clearly mapped out – and from hereon in, if you lose just one match, you must turn around and go home. (Then again, your opponents might be disqualified, and you might be given another chance to go all the way, like Luton Town in the EFL Trophy.)

The first knockout round – Round 2 – will be split across two separate posts. In this chapter, the three co-hosts all resume their World Cup campaigns, along with Brazil, Jamaica and the Republic of Ireland. Continue reading “Fairer World Cup: Round 2, Part 1”

Fairer World Cup: Groups K & L

After what feels like forever, we have reached the end of the Fairer World Cup Group Stage! But just imagine – it’s going to be even longer in the real thing!

Anyway, in the last chapter, England win Group I in typical England fashion, while Group J was a real rollercoaster ride – particularly for the Republic of Ireland.

So now we’ve come to the final two groups. Spain will want to exact revenge on Türkiye in Group K, while sleeping giants Germany and surprise qualifiers Thailand will likely dominate the headlines in Group L. Continue reading “Fairer World Cup: Groups K & L”

Fairer World Cup: Groups I & J

Things are about to get a lot tighter and tenser as the Group Stage of the Fairer World Cup continues.

The previous chapter saw Argentina overcome some early wobbles to (eventually) top Group G, while there was a thrilling climax to Group H. But now the focus shifts towards Groups I and J.

The Republic of Ireland find themselves in a ‘group of death’, as DR Congo, Italy and Suriname all try to stop Harry Kane from nabbing the Golden Shoe. But first, can Harry’s former England team-mates prove that they can win the World Cup without him? (Probably not…) Continue reading “Fairer World Cup: Groups I & J”

Fairer World Cup: Groups G & H

It’s time for another installment of the Fairer World Cup – the Robin Hood of international tournaments. We’ve taken several players from stronger national teams and given them to ‘weaker’ nations that they are also eligible to represent.

For example, both Brazil and Croatia have lost several regular starters to lower-ranked nations, while Jamaica have gained almost an entire squad’s worth of English-born talents. If you want to see how they got on earlier in the Group Stage, check out my recaps of Groups E and F.

This chapter is all about Groups G and H, which feature the likes of Norway, Uruguay, and the defending champions Argentina. Continue reading “Fairer World Cup: Groups G & H”

Fairer World Cup: Groups E & F

The Group Stage continues right here, right now, at the Fairer World Cup. It’s just like the real World Cup, but with slightly less corruption.

Last time out, co-hosts Mexico battled through a tight Group C, while there was plenty of late drama in Group D. If you’re reading this from Poland, then… er… you might probably want to skip that chapter.

As for today, all eyes are on Group E. Brazil and Jamaica will bring the style for sure, but could South Korea and Slovakia provide some substance of their own? We’ll also have all the results from Group F, featuring 2022 semi-finalists Croatia and Morocco. Continue reading “Fairer World Cup: Groups E & F”

Fairer World Cup: Groups C & D

The Group Stage of the Fairer World Cup is now underway, and we have already had plenty of entertainment… well, maybe not if you’ve been watching Bosnia & Herzegovina versus Egypt.

In the previous chapter, we opened up the tournament with Groups A and B, in which the United States and Canada faced some stiff tests in their quests to reach the knockout rounds.

But what about our other hosts – Mexico? Well, they enter the competition in today’s chapter, as they take on Albania, Iran and the Ivory Coast in Group C. We’ll then meet a much-changed Netherlands team in Group D, where we’ll also try to figure out what the hell is going on with that kit clash! Continue reading “Fairer World Cup: Groups C & D”

Fairer World Cup: Groups A & B

Welcome back to the Fairer World Cup, where I use Football Manager 2024 to find out what would happen if players represented the lowest-ranked nations available to them.

210 nations entered the tournament, but ‘only’ 48 have made it to North America for the main event itself. Several big European nations have missed out completely, including Belgium, France, Portugal… and Scotland! If you want to revisit the qualifiers in full, you can catch up on all the previous chapters right here.

But now it’s time for the Fairer World Cup to begin in earnest. Two of the co-hosts are in action in today’s chapter, as the United States kick off the tournament in Group A, before Canada enter the fray in a wide-open Group B. Continue reading “Fairer World Cup: Groups A & B”